July 21, 2017

Attraction…..

So are they interested?

Body language attraction

This is the question which has tormented men and women since the dawn of our species, and will continue to torment us for the foreseeable future. To assist in answering that million dollar question, this page is dedicated to at least giving you some indicators to look out for.

Indicators which we have all inherited from our Darwinian Ancestors, and indicators that can also be used to reading peoples other interests.

We will start this section by clarifying that we only teach the details of how to read the signals.

As far as how to court, that is some really deep psychological stuff. For men interested in this I recommend The Game by Neil Strauss or for women 101 Flirting Tips For Women by Shaun Burns.

 

         

If you would prefer something a bit more simple for courting than this psychology mumbo jumbo we would suggest that men join a gym and keep lifting weights until you can bench your own body weight, and ladies run a few kilometres everyday. At the end of the day we are all hard wired to be shallow as much as we try to over ride that. So although we are not answering the million dollar question on how to get your crush to like you, we are answering the half million dollar question on whether you should ask for that date or not. (Every battle is won or lost before it is fought Sun Tzu, The Art of War So lets begin on how to read signals.

Darwinism has taught us that through years of evolution we mimic some of our ancestors traits.  Women historically speaking have been attracted to alpha men, and men instinctively display these alpha signals with out even realizing it.

To give you an example, wild life experts in Africa will be able to spot the alpha of a silver back gorilla group by looking for the one with the biggest leg spread.  Now for humans, sitting with a nice V leg formation does suggest a relaxed attitude and a familiarity with their surroundings (confidence). Obviously a 180 degree spread would be taking that too far… Other evolutionary traits that we have learnt from our ancestors, are prolonged eye contact and smiling. Below we will list some indicators that will answer that question, to ask, or not to ask for that date, or to flirt or not to flirt.

1. Eye contact

If you find your self exchanging glareless stares into each others eyes this could suggest good things.  It could even be catching them looking at you while walking past etc.  It could mean that you have a kick me sign stuck to your back.

2. Excessive smiling

This is a dangerous one to analyses on its own as many people smile all the time, and other people smile when they want to be friendly.  However when combined with other factors, it could truly suggest that they are happy to be with you.The smile is regarded as a great tool for building attraction, which is evident from watching any beauty pageant or Brad Pitt / George Clooney interview.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZemqIwZ6oug

 

3. Touchy touchy, feely feely

Next time you are out at a bar or friends BBQ (if your friends are not all married of) look out for this.  Woman tend to be more subtle with it, whereas men tend to not do it or over completely. The woman’s way is to touch lightly on the elbow hand or knee when trying to get someone’s attention.  And for single men I suggest you take this approach as well. The mans way is to play around and get them in head locks as a part of teasing, or then hug them as an apology for teasing.  This can go down well, but usually does not.  But ladies, at least if a new gentleman is doing this with you, you now know that they are interested in you as opposed to the man just been a bully clown.

4. Nobody likes an awkward silence

If you are unsure if crush has mutual feelings towards you, let the conversation stop for a moment, and wait to see if they bring up a new subject to talk about.  This in it self may mean very little as many us just hate awkward silences, so please use this in combination with other indicators.  But at least you will see that they value the conversation and your company if they don’t walk away.

5. Feet direction

Look to where their feet and knees are pointing.   This is not only a good rule for trying to figure out if a she / he is interested in you, but also a good tool for all channels in life. We are all so conscious to hide and mask our facial expressions, torso and arms, but it is quite often we will forget about feet. Now for ladies, this is great news, as this rule is almost universal for women analyzing men, but for men analyzing women, beware of the skirt / dress curve ball.  Obviously their legs will be crossed for reasons that are so obvious that I won’t bother explaining. If you don’t believe me go to a bar and look out for a group with a few girls and many guys.  Notice how although the guys are all talking amongst themselves almost all of their feet will be pointing towards the girls.

6. Don’t be offended, be flattered

 If you find a member of the opposite sex continually teasing you about anything they can, you should take this as a sign that they are trying to build a rapport with you.  Something that the two of you can always refer to an laugh about.  So don’t get offended, get flattered. It is also a tool used by men to sublty communicate to woman that they are not intimidated by their beauty.

7. They think you are funnier than Dave Allen, Jerry Seinfeld and David Letterman combined, when you are clearly not funny at all!

This is more one that women use to express interest in a man.  How often do you see some cool cat making lame jokes that make all the ladies laugh, and all the men think ‘wanker!’  They are not laughing with him because they think his jokes are good, they are laughing because they think he is good.

8. The interrogator

When you are interested in someone you obviously want to know as much about them as possible.   Therefore we find ourselves asking many questions.  It usually starts with ‘what is you name’ .

9. Open or closed?

Generally speaking a person interested in you will have open body language.  For example their arms will not be crossed over but open and their torso will be facing you, or in a rough 45 degree angle towards you.

10. Proximity

In order for anything to happen you will need to be in the same area right? Sometimes it obvious when they will sit right next to you, but other times its not so obvious as they may lead their group near yours but not initiate a conversation as to not look  desperate in front of their friends.  (They are subconsciously hoping you will start the conversation)

11. Approval seeking

This one we did not learn about from reading psychology books, but from observations we made from the real world.  In a crowd look for Mr Smith trying to impress Jane and  look out for him telling a joke and then looking towards Jane to see if she is laughing or not.  Most people can do this sublty which is why you need to be observant to spot it.

12. Autonomic nervous system

Our ANS is our bodies involuntary responses to certain emotions.  The responses that draw the biggest changes are anxiety, guilt, and attraction.  These changes include an increase in perspiration, hairs standing up, increased breathing rate, and increased heart rate.  Now right now you are probably thinking how the hell do we spot that with out a Polygraph machine.  In truthful ness the only way we can see an increase is if you see your crush scratching the back of their neck more when they are around you.  For ladies hair twirling is another sign of this.

13. Stances

Another method used to determine attraction is stances. For men they will generally tend to make the cowboy stance, by having their legs slightly spread, and their hands resting either on their belt, or half in their pockets.  For ladies a common stance to see is for them to rest their head on both their palms, in an emblem form of ‘presenting their beautiful face on a platter’. These are the 13 signs that you should look out for to know if you should ask for the date, or not to ask for the date.  Now go get em cowboy / Cowgirl….

Thanks for reading.  To conclude this page Ill attach a link to our travel advisory website where we have listed out the safe countries which have the best ratios for girls to guys, and also for guys for guys.  (and hence find an environment where the odds are in your favor.  Happy reading.  http://www.dumbtraveller.com/ideal-destinations-for-single-travellers/

 

Cheers

Dave